Etiquette Tips from Polished Peyton
Starting the New Year on a New (Thank You) Note
What a year 2020 was! We can all agree we are hopeful that 2021 will be a bit better. What we might find different opinions on is the thank you note and its relevance in today’s world.
If I asked you to look back on 2020 and tell me a few things you learned or realized, many of you would say you were thankful for something. Maybe you were thankful for the extra time home, the extra time with your children, the lighter schedule or the new normal of being able to work from anywhere. You were thankful. Being thankful is a good thing. So the act of thanking people by spoken or written word is always a good decision and a handwritten note will always be a gift to the receiver. Unlike that trendy holiday gift from your aunt, the thank you note is never going out of fashion. Never. Yet this topic continues to be one of the most asked etiquette questions I receive.
The first thank you notes, as we know them today, originated in the 1400’s. Delivered by hand, Europeans exchanged cards with friends and family. With the invention of the postage stamp in the 1840’s, notes of all kinds became more popular. Writing thank you notes continues to be etiquette to express gratitude for gifts and invitations. I think it’s important to teach your children and grandchildren to write notes. Do it with them. You are teaching them writing skills but, also ways of expressing appreciation. The mere process of thinking and talking that through at a young age helps them with being thankful. It’s a skill.
Thank you note
Here are some tips to make writing thank you notes a bit easier:
Have a stationary box. Keep a variety of thank you notes, stamps, a good black pen and a few examples in it. Yes, even adults should keep a few good examples on hand. Those examples push us through on the days we can’t seem to gather our thoughts.
Don’t stress about “the correct stationary.” This is especially true for young children and young adults. Focus on the act of being thankful and writing it out and allow your children to pick stationary they like.
Leave a good impression. Following a job interview, a good practice is thank them three times. First, in person as you leave the interview. Then potentially via email if you had been corresponding that way before the interview. Finally, with a handwritten thank you note that also allows you to “follow up.”
People are often concerned about how to properly address a note or letter. Here are my two favorite books on the topic and I use these constantly: The Cranes Blue Book of Stationary. The Styles and Etiquette of Letters, Notes and Invitations, edited by Steven L. Feinberg; and Honor and Respect. The Official Guide to Names, Titles and Forms of Address, by Robert Hickey.
As you make your list of resolutions for the new year, I want you to add thank you notes to it. I promise, it will make you more thankful and spread thankfulness to those you write. Think about how you feel when you receive one. Have a goal of writing one each month.
Small steps. Big rewards. Be thankful.