Christmas is so much harder as you get older. When you were a kid, it was easy. You grabbed the Sears Wish Book, turned to the sporting goods section and discreetly turned down the corner of the page showing the item you wanted Santa to bring. As you get older, its more complicated. It’s like, “What do you want this year?” I don’t know. A lower mortgage rate? A sense of purpose? A New Year’s diet resolution that actually works?
Speaking of resolutions, I’ve decided that THIS year I’m going to get into the Christmas spirit and finally put up a Christmas tree! For the past 10 years I’ve recycled the plastic wreath the previous owner left in my laundry room/basement/catch-all/man cave. It has served me loyally and was about the ONLY thing unaffected by the storm surge of Hurricane Matthew. In fact, I think the storm surge actually cleaned off some of the dirt and cobwebs that had accumulated on the wreath. Being that my front door is made of glass and metal, I have always “hung” the wreath on my porch light “with care.” (Get it?!)
When it comes to Christmas decorations, there is always that one guy in the neighborhood that goes ALL out with the Christmas decorations, right?! You know him! He’s the Clark Griswold of the neighborhood. The guy who makes every other “dad” on the street look like a rank amateur when it comes to bringing good cheer. My buddy, Andy Jones, is THAT guy! He turns his yard into a veritable North Pole each year, making sure he has the very latest in visual and sometimes pyrotechnic technology. Why, some local folks even think he’s Santa! (Wink, wink)
Of course, in my neighborhood, Sea Palms, we have possibly the BEST "THAT Guy" in the county! Each night leading up to Christmas, hundreds of cars slowly drive down Shore Rush Drive, drawn to the cornucopia of lights. The visual display rivals anything Clark Griswold could come up with—or Disney for that matter! I can’t imagine what Georgia Power bill for December looks like every year at that house! The only thing worse would be having to live on either side of THAT guy! Anything you put out is going to pale in comparison to that display. And if you DON’T put out any decorations, then you’re that guy who lives next to THAT guy…you know, the one who doesn’t like Christmas!
Yeah, Christmas keeps getting harder each year. If I buy a tree, I’m gonna need a tree stand. And lights. And ornaments. And candy canes. And… Maybe I’ll just put up my Christmas wreath one last year. But NEXT year! Yeah, NEXT year, I”m gonna be THAT guy!
Merry Christmas, everybody!
P.S. If you’re looking for a Christmas gift for an out-of-town friend or family member who once lived here, vacations here, or anyone who loves to get a glimpse of our little island home, EIL now has mail subscriptions. We’re discounting rates through December 31. Just $25 for one year (12 issues) or $50 for two years (24 issues) to have EIL delivered right to their door. Go to elegantislandliving.net and click the subscription tab to order.
