The Faces of Hope - Personal Thoughts on the Journey through Breast Cancer

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The Faces of Hope - Personal Thoughts on the Journey Through Breast Cancer

By Alysia English

Photography by Lindy Thompson Cofer, Golden Isles Photographic Services, LLC

A breast cancer diagnosis punches through the everyday and smacks head-on into the eternal. On October 21, 2107, fourteen breast cancer survivors (thirteen women and one man) will participate in the 18th Annual American Cancer Society Fashion Show and Luncheon at Sea Palms Golf and Tennis Resort on St. Simons Island. Guests will enjoy an uplifting testament to the human spirit, medical miracles, and lively fun, all supporting October as Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The message of these survivors for patients and families experiencing breast cancer is “You can do this. There IS hope.”

The Fashion Show and Luncheon will take place from 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Models will be wearing fashions provided by Evelyne Talman, Lady and Gentlemen’s Outfitters, Cricket Shop, The Rose & Vine, and Shackelford Shoes. The presenting partners for this event are Vincent Arlauskas, M.D., Stephen Barrett, M.D., and Bradley Easterlin, M.D.

While the stories we hear from breast cancer survivors may vary, they all resonate with hope. In the profiles that follow, you'll meet three vibrant, beautiful women who believe so strongly in hope that they are participating as spokeswomen and models in the 18th Annual American Cancer Society Fashion Show and Luncheon. Please make plans to attend and see them with their fellow survivors on the runway. Tickets are a $40 donation and are available in advance only at Antiques, Etc. in Brunswick and Gentlemen’s Outfitters on St. Simons Island. For information or to purchase tickets by credit card, call the American Cancer Society at 912.217.7280.

Liz Floyd Motter: The Dream of the Path

Liz Floyd Motter deals daily in positive thoughts, the power of God and motivating others. A published author, US veteran, speaker, and devoted mother/grandmother, she radiates strength and serenity, joyfully sharing a message of hope, encouragement and fulfillment through God’s will and help.

Liz had a dream that informs many of her decisions and ministries. “I saw a line of women going down a long, long path. On either side of them was a lush, beautiful green landscape filled with beautiful things. And the women just kept walking, never veering off that path, going nowhere. I want to tell women to get off that path of social pressure, status, who thinks what about you. There is no fulfillment there.”

Of her diagnosis, Liz commented, “I can’t deny that your world comes to a stop for a while. The feelings are overwhelming. You don’t know about tomorrow, what will happen or how it will impact your life. So, you go through those feelings. And then remember, there is hope and it comes to you in a lot of ways. And you will get through this.”

She credits her husband and three grown children for the outstanding support and love they gave her. “I wanted to be there for my husband, my children and grandchildren. They were huge motivators through this process, along with God.”

Liz advises those who are newly diagnosed to trust their instincts. Does the medical team feel like a good match for you? Are they transparent, cohesive, and authentic? In addition to cancer care, do they also provide information about diet, exercise, and other support? Can you reach them easily? If not, she says it is perfectly appropriate to seek a second opinion and evaluate what is right for your situation.

“It is also okay to be your own advocate. For example, when you start treatment there will be forms to fill out like a Living Will. Remember, that is absolutely not a death sentence, nor does it mean the medical folks have already decided an outcome for your case. That form is an act of love for your family that everyone who goes into a hospital should sign.”

Her advice to patients’ friends and family is that they need to be very, very good listeners. “This is very personal. Be aware that the choices and decisions are some of the most personal anyone can make. Please don’t push an opinion. You can ask questions or say things in a loving way, but only if the person is at a place they can receive your words.”

Liz summarizes, “This is your time. Do what you were meant to do, whatever that might be. Grow. Glow. Love!”

Valerie Lane: Hope Anchors the Soul

An experienced occupational therapist, Valerie Lane is a vibrant, confident young mother who radiates health and goodwill. “I initially experienced some tough moments, pacing the floor, uncertain, fearful. I went through all the ‘what-ifs.’ I had a medical background, but this was overwhelming. The scary part was wondering what to tell my small son. Then, God started sending me messages of hope.

“During the week I was diagnosed, my African violet bloomed; it had never bloomed even once. It bloomed again during each milestone of my treatment, getting bigger and bigger. The word hope starting showing up everywhere. My Bible study group gave everyone a keychain. It said “hope.” I was placed in the Hope study group. The theme of the year was Hope.

“During Hurricane Matthew, I evacuated with a ten-year-old Vera Bradley bag. I had never really paid attention to it. Then, I noticed the print was Lily of the Valley with a pink ribbon. And the name of that bag is New Hope. I saw the word hope in pictures, retail shops—literally, everywhere I went I saw that word. God was sending me a message.

“The Bible verse, Hebrews 6-19, says, ‘We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.’ The mind, will and emotions—those are the soul. And my soul became calm through hope.”

Valerie advocates trusting your gut. “I just felt like something was wrong. I had test after test; nothing was definitive. I needed definitive. They said come back in three months. I just couldn’t stand it and pushed for more tests. Sure enough, they found two types of cancer. I can’t say I was a tower of strength, but I was my own advocate. God led me in the steps I had to take. “

One outstanding support idea she learned was from a teacher she had never met. “If you need to rest, put a sign on your door that says, ‘Resting right now.’ Put a cooler on the front doorstep with a tasteful sign that indicates people can leave food in it, while you are resting. People are glad to do that, knowing they didn’t wake or disturb you.”

Valerie ran in a marathon while going through treatment. “This whole thing is like a marathon. To get through those 26 miles mentally, you do it one step at a time. That is the best advice I could give to someone going through this. Plan for today; focus on what is important for today. You CAN do this! Just take one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. God will walk with you and provide you hope and support the entire way.”

Susan Ryles: The Lesson of the Rocks

Susan Ryles has a smile that glows like a beacon and spreads energy like a sunbeam. A talented artist and twenty-five year breast cancer survivor, Susan’s story reminds new patients that they do have a long-term perspective for a full and happy life.

She’s a big believer in trying to be authentic, showing who you are instead of hiding it. “Going through cancer made me much more direct, more authentically who I am and able to share that. I learned to set my priorities.”

“I was a Human Resource professional. In our priority-setting seminars we talked about ‘putting the big rocks in first.’ You need some big rocks to represent your life priorities and then a lot of small pebbles to represent other things in your life. Take a big glass vase and fill it up with the pebbles. Then try to put the big rocks in. Those big rocks simply won’t fit. Take the same vase and put the big rocks, your priorities, in first. Then, add the small rocks, the other things in your life. Many of those small rocks fit, but by surrounding the large rocks. And the leftover pebbles are simply not important. That is how life should be. Focus on priorities and add as you can.”

Medical care has evolved tremendously in the last twenty-five years. Susan calls that older process “mechanical.” In 1992, there was no patient-centered care and more limited options for treatment. Susan appreciates how much better the current approach integrates care and focuses on the individual.

Susan’s diagnosis was a shock to her at the age of 35. “But I always felt hopeful. Never once did I feel hopeless. Yes, I cried. But suddenly, I started to assess things. Why am I here? What is my purpose? I developed a “carpe diem” (seize the day) attitude. I didn’t know what was coming, but it forced me to make the best of today. And that has stayed with me. It’s a big part of hope, being in the present and proclaiming what your priorities are. You appreciate life so much more.”

Her advice for family and friends focuses on one aspect, “Don’t be afraid to ask them what they need. People will jump in and help. And it is okay for the patient to say yes or say no; that will vary day to day. For me, keeping things as normal as possible was important. I worked and kept to my routine. I was taking charge and not letting cancer take charge of me.”

Of her experience, Susan says it was as much a psychological journey as it was physical. “I was searching, spiritually and psychologically. They were blended with the physical. It’s like that book title by Maya Angelou, ‘Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now.’ I wouldn’t wish breast cancer on anyone, but I don’t think I would be exactly where I am without that experience.”

Susan laughs about her slogan “Freak out—and carry on!” She says the phrase is honest and appropriate for most traumatic situations.

“It is ok to be scared, uncertain. But rise above that and realize you can do something about whatever it is. Breast cancer is a process, not a project. And I am a living breathing example that the rest of your life can be pretty darn great.”